I hope everyone is having a great summer and taking some time to have some fun. In my second staff interview of this series, I am interviewing Shadow today. He is the Gamma male of our pack, behind Smokey and myself. He is probably actually behind Bennie Hana the cat, but Bennie insists he is not in our same management line so we'll leave him out for now. You know how cats are.
Rascal: 'Shadow, welcome to my blog. Thank you for being here today."
Shadow: 'Hey is this thing on, Hello, Hellloo, my name is SHAAAADOOOOW.
Rascal: 'yes, the microphone is on, how else would this interview get translated to text. Don't slobber all over the mic, you don't need to put your lips on it and just talk normal, it's sensitive. Geez. You act like you've never been interviewed before."
Shadow: "So, let's start talking about how I lead the pack here on the farm and all the heroic deeds I have performed."
Rascal "umm, that would be a different dog, one I don't know. We are talking to you today. Let's talk about how you came to be here. You answered my ad for minions and your first family brought you where where you eagerly agreed to my leadership in all things..
Shadow: "halt machen my little Scottish friend, I never signed any paperwork of any kind. My first family had to find homes for my brother and I and we ended up here because these people needed protection from all enemies around the farm:
Ras: "ok first of all, stop with the German. You don't really speak it.
Shadow: "halt die Goeshe..which means shut your mouth, dirty little dog. Ok, I added that last part"
Ras: "I don't think you could carry on a conversation and it doesn't work when you shout at the elk in your FAKE german accent things like "Where are your papers, You are not authorized to be here" Dude, they totally see through that
Shadow "it's REAL. Sei nicht dumm"
Ras: "no, it's not. You need to stop watching those old WWII movies, seriously dude. Back to the interview. So you and Smokey are brothers, and he's MUCH bigger than you
Shadow: "only by 20 pounds. he's not that much bigger"
Ras: "But in dog pounds, that's like 140 pounds! I bet he can fit your whole head in his mouth."
Shadow: "No, that's not true, not that he's ever tried it and failed or anything."
Ras: "So you two are close, like brothers and yet you still sometimes try to get dominance over Smokey."
Shadow: "Well, the pack must be the strongest it can be at all times and it's always important to keep..."
Ras: "yada yada, whatever dude. I do notice that you stick close to the people most of the time time.
Shadow: "that is what I am here for, to protect the humans. I stay with them, mostly with the CFO, she needs the most protection and she gives good belly rubs"
Ras: "yeah, I don't really like that you hang out with my mom so much, I mean the CFO"
Shadow "you are a jealous little Scotsman"
Ras: "you say that like it's an insult you big smelly German Shepherd"
Shadow: "I'm not allowed to test fit your head in my mouth or this would be all over"
Ras: "yeah and you go down fast when I bite your back legs"
Shadow: "a wee little Scottish dog fighting dirty, imagine that"
Ras: "ok, that's it! Come at me bro, come on. Let's dance, you want somma this"
Shadow "nun mach mal halblang!
Ras: "Mooooooooom, he's threatening me in German again"
That concludes the interview with Shadow. The CFO did have to intervene at the end there. All in all, he's a good worker, he just tries a bit too hard to move his way up the hierarchy, and he is smelly. Until next time, nap well my friends.
Rascal: 'Shadow, welcome to my blog. Thank you for being here today."
Shadow: 'Hey is this thing on, Hello, Hellloo, my name is SHAAAADOOOOW.
Rascal: 'yes, the microphone is on, how else would this interview get translated to text. Don't slobber all over the mic, you don't need to put your lips on it and just talk normal, it's sensitive. Geez. You act like you've never been interviewed before."
Shadow: "So, let's start talking about how I lead the pack here on the farm and all the heroic deeds I have performed."
Rascal "umm, that would be a different dog, one I don't know. We are talking to you today. Let's talk about how you came to be here. You answered my ad for minions and your first family brought you where where you eagerly agreed to my leadership in all things..
Shadow: "halt machen my little Scottish friend, I never signed any paperwork of any kind. My first family had to find homes for my brother and I and we ended up here because these people needed protection from all enemies around the farm:
Ras: "ok first of all, stop with the German. You don't really speak it.
Shadow: "halt die Goeshe..which means shut your mouth, dirty little dog. Ok, I added that last part"
Ras: "I don't think you could carry on a conversation and it doesn't work when you shout at the elk in your FAKE german accent things like "Where are your papers, You are not authorized to be here" Dude, they totally see through that
Shadow "it's REAL. Sei nicht dumm"
Ras: "no, it's not. You need to stop watching those old WWII movies, seriously dude. Back to the interview. So you and Smokey are brothers, and he's MUCH bigger than you
Shadow: "only by 20 pounds. he's not that much bigger"
Ras: "But in dog pounds, that's like 140 pounds! I bet he can fit your whole head in his mouth."
Shadow: "No, that's not true, not that he's ever tried it and failed or anything."
Ras: "So you two are close, like brothers and yet you still sometimes try to get dominance over Smokey."
Shadow: "Well, the pack must be the strongest it can be at all times and it's always important to keep..."
Ras: "yada yada, whatever dude. I do notice that you stick close to the people most of the time time.
Shadow: "that is what I am here for, to protect the humans. I stay with them, mostly with the CFO, she needs the most protection and she gives good belly rubs"
Ras: "yeah, I don't really like that you hang out with my mom so much, I mean the CFO"
Shadow "you are a jealous little Scotsman"
Ras: "you say that like it's an insult you big smelly German Shepherd"
Shadow: "I'm not allowed to test fit your head in my mouth or this would be all over"
Ras: "yeah and you go down fast when I bite your back legs"
Shadow: "a wee little Scottish dog fighting dirty, imagine that"
Ras: "ok, that's it! Come at me bro, come on. Let's dance, you want somma this"
Shadow "nun mach mal halblang!
Ras: "Mooooooooom, he's threatening me in German again"
That concludes the interview with Shadow. The CFO did have to intervene at the end there. All in all, he's a good worker, he just tries a bit too hard to move his way up the hierarchy, and he is smelly. Until next time, nap well my friends.
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